


Don't Shoot Me (I'm Only The Piano Player)

by HerbertBest



Category: Ninja Sex Party (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Character Death, Humor, M/M, Mental Link, Metaphysics, Post-Canon, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-17 02:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13066785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: Danny Sexbang was lost during the band's last trip into space.   Now alone, Brian has returned to earth and taken up life playing piano in cocktail lounge bars.  Unfortunately, his mental link with Danny is still as strong as it ever was.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey, who’s gonna tip the piano player?”

A drunk guy in a loud polo shirt shrugged blearily, taking a big bite out of the sandwhich clutched in his fist. “Dunno, man. I’m tapped. And he’s been glaring at the two of us all day.”

The other guy had more bravado. In his leather jacket, he approached the man in the white tuxedo filling the air with soft musak versions of heavy metal songs. “Hey dude,” he said. The music stopped. The man’s piercing blue eyes cut through the distance, making him feel incredibly uncomfortable.

He pressed a one into the empty wine glass sitting atop the piano. Slowly, the man went back to playing, his eyes focused in on him the whole time.

“I dunno who that guy is,” said the taller man, “but he sure as hell knows how to stare a hole through someone.”

“Tell me about it,” the other guy said, shivering.

But the piano played on, uncaring of their opinions.

 

*** 

In the morning, Brian had solitude, the solitude he’d always yearned for but never had when Danny was in his life. It was odd that he didn’t seem to want it – now that the silence was surrounding him, he wanted it broken, interrupted.

It wasn’t quiet for long. In the morning, every time before he slept, he heard the voice in his ear.

 _”It’s time to come home, Brian,”_ Danny said, the telepathic eco making Brian’s head ache. _”It’s time to try and find me. You aren’t washed up! You’re one of the raddest people I’ve ever met. In fact, you’re rad enough to know what I’ve done wrong. You’re the only one smart enough to save me now. Just stop calling yourself names…ugh fine. I’ll leave you alone._

Brian’s hands untensed against the sink. It had been twenty years since he’d seen Danny Sexbang, yet still his voice haunted him. Still their telepathic link was strong.

And still Dan floated on the opposite side of the moon, where Brian couldn’t reach him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It started as a pleasure mission.

It started as a pleasure mission. 

One of many, so many. Brian had lost track of the boundaries and worlds they’d straddled in an attempt at getting themselves laid. For that was the ultimate mission of Ninja Sex Party – play music, get laid, get out before things get too difficult. The sexual part of the equasion had never been particularly important to Brian, though admittedly he had enjoyed a few of the girls Danny had cast off or failed to win. Brian hadn’t been particularly omnisexual in his youth, but Danny – the second Danny had discovered what a breast was he’d been gaga for every single girl who fluttered her lashes in his direction. 

It had been a distraction. Their elders had been beyond opposed, beyond livid, at his liberties. 

Danny had become a disappointment to them. He’d had the discipline, the stealth, and the strength to be a top flight ninja – but he lacked a key ingredient in his make-up, the sociopathic ability to distance himself from his targets. All he wanted to do was make the world smile. So he’d rejected his dojo, decided to go dancing and fucking through life, and escaped their world.

Brian came along mostly to make sure he didn’t kill himself – when he wasn’t killing Danny. Not that the little bastard ever stayed dead.  
One party had led to another, until the last one. Brian hadn’t gone into the mission expecting separation, possible death – Danny had wanted to pound a beautiful Venusian babe. They’d got on board the ship, entreated the spacewomen to come fuck them, had a good time, ate good food, danced and sang the night away. The women had been obliging, another bit of natural variety to the incredible amount of same that had dazzled Brian’s sexual palate for years. 

Yet none of them were as important to him as the notion of Danny having the best time possible. As often as he stepped in to stop Danny from making a fool of himself, the man’s happiness was a key ingredient to their relationship.

Then something had gone wrong with the engines. Danny had clutched the throttle, everything had stalled. For three days they’d stayed in the orbit of Earth without moving, their SOS signals completely ignored. 

“I have to go out and check on the heat panels,” Danny said. “Maybe there’s a way to make the solar stuff we have stored make the engines go vmm.”

That made sense to Brian. Somehow. They got dressed, got into the airlock, tethered themselves to the outside of the shuttle. Brian figured out quickly enough that the solar panels were improperly connected to the engine. No wonder they’d run out of energy. Together, they worked to reconnect it. The shuttle rumbled back to life.

He didn’t see Danny’s tether come undone. In space, he couldn’t hear him scream, but could see his mouth work soundlessly, the fear in his eyes. Brian reached for him – he couldn’t get close enough without losing his own grip on the ship. Danny fell away, flailing – out of Earth’s orbit. Brian went in search of him after, looking for a corpse, trying to discover something to cremate and put on an altar. But there was no Danny. No body. No tight blue space suit, and no sign of trauma in the holy, star-spangled darkness all around them. And Brian – as hard as he tried to think about it, as much time as he spent considering the idea – couldn’t figure out why he’d never found a sign of the man.

 _But I’m not dead,_ came the insistent voice once more. _I’m right here. I’m on the moon, buddy. All you have to do is come looking for me._

Brian wanted to scoff. He put his faith in that voice. Had tried to concentrate on the mental link, tried to beacon himself toward his partner. He’d come to believe that the voice was a delusion, a sign that his twenty years of celibacy and loneliness was finally effecting his mental state.

He’d ended up selling the condos, the mansions. Bought himself a house and socked away money until he’d found a job playing piano at night for money. He’d lived a boring, normal, conventional life, dealing with the voice until he couldn’t anymore. 

Until he’d ended up standing there in front of the mirror, seeing Danny’s haunted eye staring back at him. 

The last time he saw Danny they were on the ship, rocketing around the moon, trying to figure out a way to get to Venus without freezing to death. To see the naked pleading in his eyes, to know he’d been suffering…

It was almost too much.

Brian wondered what he’d have to do to find him. If there was even a way to find him, a Gretel-like breadcrumb trail back home.

But Brian knew in that moment that there was no trail back to wellness and wholeness. There was no way out of the garden without Danny’s help. He’d have to find him. He’d have to listen to his voice. 

And it started in one place. In a garage in Glendale he’d long abandoned, with a dick-shaped rocket ship hidden inside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Interlude

The ship was a disaster. His degree in quantum physics barely covered what needed to be fixed. By the time he took off and tried to circle the moon, it was late. So late.

Brian wondered to himself why he’d undertaken such an enormous task. Such an enormous strain. His eyes were drifting closed, a siren was singing his name…

….And he was falling asleep to the sound of his own heart, thundering away in his own eardrums.


	4. Chapter 4

“Brian. You have to wake up now.”

His freefall into blackness halted. The blue glowing apparition before him was Danny. But it wasn’t, because Danny would have said something…

“Dude, now’s not the time to wonder why I’m not making a boner joke. We have to talk.”

That was the last thing Brian wanted to do.

“I know, dude, this isn’t fun for me either. Anyway, in case you’re wondering, this isn’t me – it’s Memorex – I’m astrally projecting myself from another galaxy. I was taken prisoner during our last mission…I know you know that…but I’m still alive. In isolation. I’ve been trying to get through to you for years but you’ve been so stubborn…”

Brian, of course knew how to astrally project, as well.

“….please stop punching me in the face,” Danny complained. 

Brian forced himself to stop doing as Danny asked. Danny’s next words were sincere and desperate. “Come to find me, Brian. I need you. I need you so much.”

***

Brian awoke, his fingers scrambling along the console. That red button tempted him.

Could the ship even reach the Speed of Brian anymore?

He clutched the throttle. There was only one way to find out.


End file.
